Screw NYC and LA, DC is Hell for Drivers

"RaymondStantz" (RaymondStantz)
02/25/2014 at 14:50 • Filed to: DC Driving, Worst drivers, washington dc

The beauty of being a car enthusiast is seeing cars as more than mere appliances. Unfortunately, this mentality doesn't always stretch to daily driving. There certainly are moments where my car is nothing more than a mere appliance, trudging through traffic, the dual clutch box more jerky than when I accidentally managed to get Tabasco in my eye. It's just a grind and it's completely impossible to avoid sometimes, no matter where you live. Then there's the DC Metropolitan area. I'll explain to you why this is quite possible the single worst place outside of Manhattan to own a car, let alone be an enthusiast.

Let us begin, shall we?

There Quite Simply isn't Enough Road

This applies to quite a few places, particularly those with terrible public transport. I'm looking at you Los Angeles. That being said, DC and the surrounding suburbs have generally excellent public transport options. Yes, Metro is pretty much consistently broken under maintenance to bring the customer better service, but it's clean, usually free of crime, and goes to most places you'd ever need to go. Heck, the buses ain't too bad either. So, that should mean that the roads largely benefit from this. Nope . Each and every day, folks hop on every road imaginable to play Escape from DC, or Tysons Corner, or Bethesda, or... Well, you get the idea.

Surprisingly, the Beltway isn't my worst offender. Yes, it's terrible, but sometimes you do move... Sometimes! Nope, it's not even 270, or my personal commute of 395, but the terrible abomination that is 66. I've never seen so many nearly homicidal individuals rushing around on the same road at nearly all hours of the day. Sunday morning? Traffic. Midnight with light construction? Traffic. Car broken down? Rubbernecking for miles. It's horrific. This, conveniently, leads into my next grievance.

Nobody Can Drive Worth a Damn

I don't consider myself to be a fantastic driver. By no stretch am I remotely talented or particularly skillful behind the wheel. I don't expect many people to be able to execute a perfect heel toe shift, nor do I expect them all to drive diesel, manual, RWD, wagons that are brown. That's completely unrealistic. However, is it too much to expect common courtesy and general competence behind the wheel? Apparently so, especially around these parts.

Other than your average recklessness... Oh you know, your red light runners, your distracted teens, your soccer moms tailgating because little Jimmy was supposed to be at bassoon practice by now, etc... There just isn't a single shred of courtesy around here. Two folks decide to go 40 right next to each other on the GW Parkway or Fairfax County Parkway while the speed limit is 50? Tough luck. Neither are going to let you pass. Doesn't matter that it's 10pm, the road is otherwise clear, and there's a line of cars behind all flashing to pass. You shall not pass!

Just today it decided to snow. Naturally this led to poor visibility. While dodging folks doing 30 with flashers on and idiots doing 75 in all lanes, I noticed one very distinct thing. Nobody bothered to have lights on in these conditions. Flashers? Sure. Go wild! But the set of headlights that come as a no cost option? (Well, unless it's a Porsche) Nope. I see perfectly fine, it's not even dark out.
Don't get me started about the night. Oh? You want me to?

Everyone and their mother either has high beams on 24/7 or no lights on at all. This is first day drivers ed stuff.

We have a lot of folks from around the world around here. Largely, this is a brilliant thing and makes the region incredibly diverse. Unfortunately, this leads to completely diverse driving styles as well. What may be acceptable in one place, is completely unacceptable here. This makes the roads generally unpredictable.

You'll note that DC and Maryland light right up. There's a reason why !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , DC and neighboring Alexandria/Arlington are 1, 7, and 10 respectively.

It's a Car Destroyer

Have a nice car? A car you love? Well tough shit mister. It'll be destroyed. If not by the sheer incompetence of other drivers, our roads will certainly cripple your ride. No matter how long you've parked far away, no matter how close to the curb you are, no matter how little you bring your car out, the Previa with three different body colors will find you and crush your dreams like a hopes and dreams seeking missle. Heck, even the brand new lease 328 will give you another knock for good measure.

You can't win here, so you should probably stop trying.

Suicidal Cyclists and Pedestrians

Cyclists and pedestrians have every right to use the street in a safe and legal manner. Sharing the road does make a better place for all of us if we follow the rules and are predictable.

DC has a lot of traffic circles. Well, to call them a traffic circle is a bit of a stretch. They're confusing at best with lights, thru roads, etc. Every so often I come across a cyclist that adds to the confusion. Red light? Just blow it while everyone is merging into the circle. You can't stop. You have important conflict free coffee shops to get to. Your Tumblr followers can't wait for another post on your personal progress in the Oppression Olympics. Have a bike lane? Don't use it! Sway back and forth across the main lane of traffic. Rules are for sissies.

Let's move on.

Pedestrians normally don't cause too many issues. Except those that think it's a brilliant idea to cross the road as a stream of traffic barrels towards them. Of course, they have right of way, but I'm sure one or two cab drivers wouldn't mind pegging a couple of these idiots. My favorite? Step out between two parked cars and expect traffic to stop on a dime. It's filled my pants more than once zig zagging around these people.

The Police are Strict

I don't condone stupidity behind the wheel. That guy street racing in broad daylight as his D series engine struggles to pull 50 mph? Yep. That guy is an idiot. But I'm sure as enthusiasts, we all like a bit of fun behind the wheel. Surely. Around here? Think no, no, and nope.

Police Are Everywhere

Speed Limits are Artificially Low

Speed Cameras Dot Maryland

Virginia nor DC allow Radar Detectors

Virginia Law Says 20 over or 80mph+ Automatically Constitutes Reckless Driving; a Misdemeanor

It's rough. I'm not the cop hater type; that's just generally juvenile, but it's very easy to get into a lot of hot water around here. Couple this with most Northern Virginia departments not having a great deal of crime to deal with, and you'll regularly be pulled over.

My favorite quotes?

"Have you smoked marijuana today sir? I can't arrest you for it, but I'd just like to know."

"You ran that no right on red sign."

I don't smoke nor did that sign exist. Oh dear.

Conclusions

That all was a pretty terrible rant. Unfortunately, living around here is pretty frustrating when it comes to driving. Don't get me wrong, I think it's brilliant in many, many other ways, but driving ain't one of 'em.

All photo and video credits to their respective owners

DISCUSSION (100)

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 14:53

This is all so true. Sometimes when they fill in the potholes, they're even worse...

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 14:54

DC is hell. You have to be agressive. Especially the on-ramps with no merging lane. And the fact that 295 will always be congested; even Saturday night at 9 with no games or performances in town. I live in Columbia, MD. Traffic is why I usually go to Baltimore instead of DC.

McMike > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 14:58

Lived here for 35+ years. It's all I know.

Jeremy H formerly Kalakaboooom > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:02

I remember when I bought my 944, and started driving it to work (I live in Dale city, I work in Arlington) and within a fucking week, ONE WEEK. There was already a sizeable scratch as well. And not just any scratch oh no, down to the god damn metal scratch. People here are just really inconsiderate, oh, gonna park all the hell way away from everyone by yourself? Here, let me park, right next to you.

But, I have not succumbed to becoming an asshole while driving! I let people merge! I get over for people! There are good drivers in DC my friend, they are just few and far between.

Textured Soy Protein > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:05

I grew up in Rockville, MD and learned to drive all over the DC area, BEFORE the infernal speed cameras got put up everywhere. I got my license in 1998. I was one of those kids who would find random ass things to do in some other far flung corner of the metro area (oh, there's a special kind of headlight bulb that in the whole DC area is only available at one car stereo shop in Manassas, VA? Let's go!), print out mapquest directions, and hope for the best.

Traffic was still pretty terrible but not quite as bad as now with 16 years of a booming local economy pushing population growth much faster than road building. If you weren't stuck in traffic it was kind of a free for all.

I now live in Madison, WI but my DC driving "skills" have stayed with me. I kinda drive like a jerk sometimes. But I also feel confident driving pretty much anywhere. Well not like, Afghanistan or something.

Jagvar > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:05

NoVa here. When I need to go into DC, which is not very often, I take the metro. I make it a point not to drive into DC, ever. Virginia is bad enough, but DC is absolutely the seventh circle of hell.

jariten1781 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:08

Been rear ended twice in 5 years (once by a fucking metro bus). Neither during commute time (everyone pretty much seems to manage the chaos better then) but during relatively low volume times. Most recent on the beltway 9:30 at night I'm moving along at ~60 and get hit by a guy going 80ish. Good times.

My wife has been hit once in her car while in traffic, and been an occupant in two other cars that have been hit.

So all together we've been in 5 accidents in five years, all rear endings. I'd say the 7 years between accidents is generous. At least everyone has had insurance, which is better than my experiences in Oklahoma.

vicariousILive > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:08

That was a fantastic and much appreciated rant. I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets pissed off in traffic. I'm originally from Idaho, so based on your handy map, everything is worse from where I grew up. I never had to bitch about traffic until I left.

willkinton247 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:08

Oh all the this.

It's so bad that "save the manuals" just can't apply here. I'm sorry, I've tried, but I'd much rather prefer an auto. I'm too busy looking for idiots.

Also, VA may have strict cops, but at least we don't have speed cameras.

Battery Tender Unnecessary > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:12

Oh god. I lived in Richmond for 4 years and would drive up to my best friend's in Reston every month or so on Friday. I made the mistake of getting there around 5...once, that's all it took. It was over two hours to make it the 11 miles from I-95 to Dulles Toll Road. From then on it was leave WAY earlier in the day or just wait so that I'd get there around 8...and even then it was still bad sometimes. I can't imagine how people live like that. It just isn't worth it.

FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:15

The worst part about owning a car in DC? That's easy-

While I am blessed to have a drive way to park my car said driveway is filled with rats the size of cats and enough mosquitoes to make you believe that you're constructing the panama canal.

Patrick George > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:22

This is so spot on accurate. I couldn't have said it better myself. Bravo.

As a few of the other readers pointed out, you have to be aggressive to drive here. That doesn't mean drive like an asshole, it just means get yours first and worry about everyone else second. Go for the gap when you see it. Assume the worst of everyone around you. Above all, just do whatever the hell you want. Everyone else is too!

AM3R > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:24

NoVa here. The pot holes are horrible. It doesn't even matter if your in a performance car with a low suspension or a minivan that rides like a couch, the bumps will kill you.

willkinton247 > Battery Tender Unnecessary
02/25/2014 at 15:34

I grew up in RVA, and now I laugh whenever people say "Richmond traffic"

They know nothing.

willkinton247 > Patrick George
02/25/2014 at 15:36

You should share this to the FP.

The Revengel > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:58

Kinja'd!!!

Speaking as someone who was born here & has lived here my entire life . . . almost spot on. There is one thing that you (kinda) skipped that makes this the worst place to drive (or ride - Honda Interceptor) in this area.

Congressional Staff + Embassy Staff + Random folks = DIZ-ZAZ-TER

Let's take that stuff that falls from the sky. We'll call it snow this time. You have a person who grew up driving in Flint MI next to a person who grew up driving in Miami next to a person who grew up driving in Tel Aviv. Do you think any of these folks can play nice? Well, you know the answer to that one.

Metro is ok if you are trying to get in/out of the 'burbs (when it's not being "maintained") but it's crap for getting around the city. Try getting from Union Station to Anacostia on the Metro and you'll see what I mean. Much less Silver Spring to Rockville . . . but I digress.

Again, great post.

55_mercury > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:58

I've only ridden through DC once. I had just gotten married down south and as my wife and her family were from Boston we drove through DC at around 3:00 in the afternoon. Now... granted I live in the Bay Area of Cali now and have driven in LA, SF, San Diego and Sacramento many times. But the worst traffic I've experienced in any of those cities paled in comparison to what I experienced in DC. That was hands-down the WORST traffic I've ever been in. It took hours to get through the area. You couldn't pay me to live anywhere near there for that reason alone.

Dslay04 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:59

I didn't think you could have Hell inside of Hell floating next to a bubbling cesspool until I experienced the D.C. metro area.......

Grizwold > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 15:59

I learned to drive in Fairfax county, VA, and can confirm the hellness.

Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:00

All factual. 66 is awful. The Beltway, IMO, actually gets a bad rap IN VIRGINIA. In Maryland? I'd rather jump off Chain Bridge into the jagged rocks below.

jkm7680 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:00

Red Light- Slow Roll, Green light- Slow Roll, Orange light- Gun it, Stop sign- Ignore it, Speed limit- Just a suggestion, Fast lane- Tailgating lane, Slow lane- 30 mph under the speed limit lane, Parking Space- Hit the car in front of you

DrPain55 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:01

It's horrible here in Fort Wayne, IN....nobody seems to give a fuck about other people and always running or racing the yellow the red light. Cops don't pull people over for speeding or any real traffic infraction unless you are waving guns or dealing drugs out the windows.

Also have an influx of Michigan and Ohio drivers that go under the speed limit and use the left lane as a cruising lane....you know you are fucking up and going slow when you have 18-wheelers passing your ass on I-69.

Potholes everywhere and will wreck about any vehicle from sports car to truck. Its like driving in Detroit and the city just throws their hands up and goes fuck it we will patch it next October with loose asphalt.

Its a sigh of relief when I go back to Bloomington to visit my parents....nicely paved roads and people aren't as retarded behind the wheel but you do have to look out for the international kids around campus...wow o wow have I seen some hilarious park jobs.

The Revengel > FJ80WaitinForaLSV8
02/25/2014 at 16:02

Props for the diggers (canal) reference.

Heaven forbid you need a snow plow . . .

Bultaco's JMOD TownCar drives his pa to drinkin > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:03

Two folks decide to go 40 right next to each other on the GW Parkway or Fairfax County Parkway while the speed limit is 50? Tough luck. Neither are going to let you pass. Doesn't matter that it's 10pm, the road is otherwise clear, and there's a line of cars behind all flashing to pass. You shall not pass!

You have just described my own personal hell. It should not be this difficult to get from Reston to Chantilly.

ncasolowork2 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:03

I've been to pretty much every major city in the US. Seattle is a pain, New York and LA have traffic, but Chicago and DC just plain suck. DC because of their screwed up road system and Chicago because people just drive 20-30mph over the speed limit when there isn't a traffic jam and generally drive like maniacs.

Vintage1982Benz > Patrick George
02/25/2014 at 16:05

Yup.

I recently moved to Chicago, and while there is plenty of traffic for my liking and the potholes are MUCH worse after the winter we have had, the drivers in DC make it THE WORST.

I was in more or less bumper to bumper on the Ryan Expressway here the other day, but we were moving. People realized there was a very large amount of traffic, slowed down accordingly, and gave the other drivers on the road a respectful amount of space.

Had we been in DC, GAS GAS BRAKE. HONK HONK GAS. GAS BRAKE HONK.

http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season7…

HammerheadFistpunch > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:06

Maybe I caught a lucky break, but I was there for a week, traveling between the mall and Virginia and it wasn't anything worse than regular bad traffic.

tidymaze > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:06

Traffic may be hell in DC/NoVA, but Boston is the biggest "Fuck You" to drivers. Want to go down that street? Too bad, it's one way, the wrong way! And so are the next 3 streets!

Bultaco's JMOD TownCar drives his pa to drinkin > Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine
02/25/2014 at 16:07

66 in the morning... when you've got the assholes exit hopping the god damned rest stop. Jesus FUCK! Why aren't the cops ticketing those clowns, instead of anyone unlucky enough to be in the right lane with an expired inspection?

philipilihp > AM3R
02/25/2014 at 16:07

I sometimes feel like I can't even look to the road ahead because I'm too busy staring at the minefield right in front of me, trying to navigate around it in order to save my tires/wheels.

SamTheGeek > Patrick George
02/25/2014 at 16:08

It is, however, missing one critical element of the suburban DC driver. See that store you absolutely have to run into for just one second? Pop your blinkers on and park out front. Someone's already there? Double, or triple park! No, nobody around you needed to get anywhere today.

GatorEight > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:09

Everything you wrote is entirely true. I commute from Suitland to Tysons Corner. For those who don't know, Suitland is a ghetto ass neighborhood near the National Harbor. You think potholes are bad in DC? Come out here where the state doesn't give a damn what the road conditions are like, and you'll be making a service appointment AND a dentist appointment after 2 miles of driving even the cushiest suspension. And the people? Don't get me started....

The best part about it though is that the cops don't care about your poor driving skills or lack of spacial awareness. They have real problems to deal with. You know, like murder.

The Revengel > 55_mercury
02/25/2014 at 16:09

I used to commute & pleasure ride in the area - to the tune of 40k miles in under 2 years . . . including Nor'easters. The place is bananas.

I understand your position. It can be done - just make sure you sacrifice something.

philipilihp > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:09

The one road that you left out, which always baffles my mind, is 95 S, just below the Springfield interchange. How is a road 6 lanes each way , and is still bumper to bumper on a Saturday afternoon?

willkinton247 > philipilihp
02/25/2014 at 16:09

After a particularly bad snow, I found myself slaloming around them.

The Dummy Gummy > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:09

You shall not pass!

Haha! I think from now on when I'm blocked by two idiots individuals who are oblivious to the world, I will imagine the below GIF to keep my spirits high and road-rage low.

Kinja'd!!!

My Kids Have Four...Wheels (And Paws) > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:11

100% on point. I have lived in L.A. and driven in DC and at no point in time in L.A. did I ever have to stop the car with the engine running in traffic and ask my passenger to wait while I ran into a nearby hotel to take a leak because had I not, I would have gotten funky-smelling yellow liquid all over the plush seats of my '08 Impreza, not to mention my $24.99 TJ Maxx-special Luckies. And I love my $24.99 TJ Maxx-special Luckies... It took us another 45 minutes to drive the rest of that block. Insane. Also, McArthur Parkway? Fuck you and your speed cameras. Also, DC DMV? Fuck you and taking a year and a half to review my contested ticket while demanding payment right away. Also, Madison or whatever the fuck county who installed a 45 sign for all of 20 feet on Route 29 so that it could pad its till? Fuck you. And Nelson county (although we're getting farther and farther away from DC now) that inspires everyone with tales of woe should you go 1 mph over the speed limit. Fuck you twice even though you never gave me a ticket.

iwintrackdays > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:11

VA cops are the worst.

EHo > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:11

Nobody bothered to have lights on in these conditions. .... I see perfectly fine, it's not even dark out.

THIS!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^ A THOUSAND TIMES

You sir have a kindred spirit in North NJ........matter of fact, I will make this required reading for my wife since she is CONVINCED I am the ONLY one that complains about this shit.

extraspecialbitter > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:12

Thank you for this post. Just this morning, I was going NORTH-bound on the American Legion Bridge. Major accident going SOUTH-bound, BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IT!

MF-ing GAWKERS going HALF the f-ing speed limit to look at the accident on the OTHER SIDE. THE OTHER FRICKIN SIDE!!!

Gawker slowdown caused a 5 mile traffic jam!!!

juicehandy > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:12

I lived in NOVA for 7 years with a 41 mile commute. It took an average of 2 1/2 hours each way. It was an actual part-time job trying to get to and from work.

I consider 66 the worst for 2 reasons (and I've had time to think about it):

1. The HOV lanes are HOV-2 and have a hybrid exception. Plus, they only have 2 dedicated HOV exits that no one seems to use, so you end up waiting on a line of Priuses (Prii?) to cross 3 lanes of traffic at the last minute so they can exit in Manassas.

2. It's laid out due east and west. Driving to DC in the morning? Have fun staring at the sun for 2 hours. Driving to VA after work? That son of a bitch is waiting for you.

philipilihp > willkinton247
02/25/2014 at 16:12

That's my morning commute! Especially around Springfield Mall, I think I've memorized the potholes, but new ones seem to be springing up daily.

Titanius Anglesmith > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:13

I've never seen so many nearly homicidal individuals rushing around on the same road at nearly all hours of the day. Sunday morning? Traffic. Midnight with light construction? Traffic. Car broken down? Rubbernecking for miles. It's horrific.

This. I'm originally from NJ and my roommate is from Chicago, we live in Orange County, CA. Californians bitch and moan about traffic but it's SO EASY TO AVOID! You got rush hour in the morning and evening but other than that, traffic is generally pretty sparse. In places like DC, NJ, NY, Chicago you don't know when you're going to hit traffic. It could be 2 in the morning, you're going up the turnpike and traffic freaking stops at exit 7. This place is freaking paradise.

Duck996s > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:14

There is only one thing to do here.

Reverse commute. It's the only option.

New job that disrupts your reverse commute? Time to sell your house and find one that gets you right again. I've done it three times in 15 years.

TurboLag23 > Textured Soy Protein
02/25/2014 at 16:15

Yeah, I agree. I lived in Bethesda for the first 9 years of my life (moved to Los Angeles in 2003), and I never remembered it being as bad as it is now. I went back just last summer, and I with this article - it sucks. Don't get me wrong, DC/Maryland/NoVA is still my favorite place on the East Coast... but California kicks it ass six ways to Sunday in every conceivable respect hahaha.

lemonsmark > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:15

Here's the thing. I live in NJ but I'm dating a girl in DC.

Drivers in NJ are bad, I mean real bad but Delaware on down takes the cake. Once you cross the Delaware Memorial Bridge towards DC, jesus christ, all bets are off. Some of the worst fucking driving I've ever seen.

The Revengel > juicehandy
02/25/2014 at 16:16

The sun is all:

Kinja'd!!!

The Revengel > tidymaze
02/25/2014 at 16:18

I see your Boston (Dr. Mrs. lived near there) and raise you Baltiomore - land of the One-Way-Forget-About-You-Turn-Abandon-All-Hope-Ye-Without-GPS.

But Big Dig gets props like if Godzilla and Chthulu had a baby. Dealt with that once years ago. What. The. Faq.

Erzhik Tem > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:19

Lived in Alexandria for a year and absolutely loved it. I don't know why, but I was never pulled over except one time for having a taillight out in Leesburg. Cop let me go without even a warning. And I'm not exactly a slow Prius driver. Driving a Charger R/T in DC usually meant speeding and cops couldn't give a flying F. But speed cameras really killed it for me. Ticketed once in Bethesda for doing 10 over. And yes, speed signs are definitely artificially lowered for no reason whatsoever.

Patrick George > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:20

Know what else drivers do here that drives me nuts? No one on the highways keeps to the right if they're going slow. You get these jokers going 40 mph in the left lane like they don't have a care in the world. Where I'm from, Texas, that's a capital offense.

Smoak on the Water > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:21

Grew up in Annapolis, went to school in Baltimore, and my first grown-up job was in D.C., so everything in this article is 100% true, because I either have the bent-rims of the traffic citations to back it up.

The biggest issue to me about driving in this region is how few high-capacity roads we have. If you look at the population growth of the area from the past 30 years, both the DC and Baltimore metro areas have grown like weeds, but you could get map from 1973 and reasonably get around today. I-97, an undersized interstate between Baltimore and Annapolis; the Cross County Connector - a wonderfully barren, underused ribbon of asphalt between Gaithersburg and Laurel-ish that few people use because it costs more than God; the Fairfax County Connector - 55mph and traffic lights every other mile make for HORRIBLE road design and the Dulles Greenway - the only road that makes the Cross County Connector look cheap...and that doesn't REALLY save a lot of time for the price.

Are there any real high-cap roads I'm missing?

The population of the region has tripled since I was born, and they've added like, what, one lane to half the Beltway and a couple to 270? HOV lanes on 395? Please... the region was advised to stack highways to plan for growth back in the planning stages of the Beltway 50 years ago...which was promptly ignored.

The only good highway plan was Governor Schafer's "Reach the Beach" plan to get people out of the traffic jams en route to Ocean City. At least a couple of bottlenecks were fixed.

dvsc > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:22

I have no sympathy for these people. Oahu is worse.

Flavien Vidal > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:23

That's pretty bad indeed... Montreal is similar if not worse in term of potholes though... Manhattan was very bad in some places... Not so much in term of potholes but with the cobblestone streets looking like roller coasters... I had the worst times in driving history with the Corvette driving on these streets.

As far as driving itself is concerned, I have it better here... Sure cyclists are freaking annoying as everywhere, but it's not as much of a fight as in other cities. Paris on the other hand... That's something I strangely love :)

samauskanada > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:25

I learned how to drive in Vancouver and China and Hong Kong, and after years in DC, I now consider not the 3rd world driving mess that is China the worst place to drive, but DC. As a cyclist or as a driver, I find myself consistently cut off, or not knowing what drivers are doing or even indicating when they turn. Just two weeks ago, I was cycling and this lady turned without indicating and I was just about to pass her, hit my back wheel and send me flying. For my trouble, she shouted at me for a while and then drove off.

Also, potholes! 4 flat tires in 2 months is a little much right? But this is getting to be the norm.

brrrnindownthehouse > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:30

I've heard the complaints, but it really isn't as terrible as the author makes it out to be - you simply need to plan. Ten miles can take an hour, it's just a fact of life.

The issue is compounded by people who live pretty fucking far away (Whattup, Hoodbridge? Whattup Manassas? Whattup FredVegas?) and insist on maintaining a 30-50 mile commute. Those are the Dickheads who cause all the traffic.

RaymondStantz > philipilihp
02/25/2014 at 16:31

I rarely commute down that way, so that's most likely why I conveniently forgot that mess. Woodbridge makes the rest of this area look like child's play.

RaymondStantz > Captain Slow and his Flying Washing Machine
02/25/2014 at 16:32

I agree. I don't think 495 in Virginia is all that terrible until you get to Tysons. After Tysons? Good luck.

RaymondStantz > Patrick George
02/25/2014 at 16:32

Thanks for the FP!

philipilihp > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:33

True dat. Thank God I don't have to go south of Springfield either. I leave that mess behind and move inland.

Triborough > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:33

I was in Montgomery County Maryland last year. I was tempted to blow by one of the dangerous speed cameras with a pair of prop plates on.
Of course we all know that speed cameras make roads more dangerous and that they are all about making the speed camera vendor rich .

RaymondStantz > philipilihp
02/25/2014 at 16:38

Frontier Drive is an absolute mess. I'm assuming they're letting it decay until the mall is redeveloped.

Maxaxle > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:41

Kinja'd!!!

I'm gonna guess LA is a mess as far as collisions.

Maxaxle > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:42

Kinja'd!!!

"What's a car?"

hike > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:45

This is great. It's also why I never ever drive into DC. Even when I have a free parking pass in the Verizon Center to see the Capitals play, I take the metro. It's bad enough even my mother rides the metro, and she hates public transportation.

RaymondStantz > hike
02/25/2014 at 16:48

I love public transport, but I also think driving can be more efficient at certain hours. Waiting on a Metro transfer at 1AM for 30 minutes is a grind.

ezeolla > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:49

Kinja'd!!!

Wooo PA! Wait, this is bad. Nooooooooo

netloco > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:50

AAAAAMEN!!!! thank ya jeebus

Kinja'd!!!

although i have to say... i lived in NW DC for 5 years and traffic around there wasn't really that bad. the worst places BY FAR were in the DC METRO area (VA & MD). DC proper wasn't all that bad.

i hate the 'burbs...

DeeJayQueue > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:50

You forgot about the conditional HOV lanes and toll roads.

To wit:

From 6:30-9am, 66 Eastbound is HOV2 inside the beltway.

From 4-6:30pm 66 Westbound is HOV2 inside the beltway.

Toll Rt. 267 has one lane designated HOV2 for the same time constraints.

395 is HOV3.

There is no nav system in the world that can account for all this. If you rely on your Garmin or TomTom or iPhone, you WILL find yourself on an HOV road and then you WILL get a very expensive ticket.

Also - Cabbies. My theory is that many cab drivers aren't legally here (yet), and as such don't want to run afoul of the law lest they get sent home. So they drive 54mph. Which would be fine, but they do it in the left lane. Personally, I don't care if you want to go slow. Go as slowly and safely as you feel is necessary, but don't impede other drivers.

But I feel you on the "melting pot" thing. And the High Beams.

RaymondStantz > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7
02/25/2014 at 16:51

The buses love to make little mountains of the filler. That's an undercarriage killer right there.

RaymondStantz > GatorEight
02/25/2014 at 16:51

Suitland is a complete mess of its own. I avoid it like the plague when I can.

Driving-ms-paisley > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:53

DC is full of drivers with nowhere to go and no real idea of how to get there.

Also, those potholes in the video are jokes compared to the one i saw on FLA ave the other day. My life flashed before my eyes as i swerved to avoid it.

RaymondStantz > Patrick George
02/25/2014 at 16:53

Try flashing to pass. They'll flip you off. Heh.

RaymondStantz > willkinton247
02/25/2014 at 16:53

I know folks that manage, but it ain't for me. I need a weekend car for that.

RaymondStantz > Driving-ms-paisley
02/25/2014 at 16:54

OH LORD NOT FLORIDA AVE

RaymondStantz > DeeJayQueue
02/25/2014 at 16:55

Absolutely spot on.

pooptitsmcgee > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:55

who else loved the vid with the hipster on a bike getting OWNED after running a red light? having spend over two decades in the dc metro area, this article is spot on. MD drivers and diplomats seem to be the worst of the mix.

also, fuck hipsters.

jkm7680 > AM3R
02/25/2014 at 16:55

I found myself inside of one...

RaymondStantz > juicehandy
02/25/2014 at 16:56

This. One million times. The HOV lanes on 66 are absolute nightmares.

505Turbeaux > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:56

do they still impound your car for having a 1 day expired registration too?

RaymondStantz > 505Turbeaux
02/25/2014 at 16:57

Luckily I wouldn't know!

chrisbattle > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 16:58

Kinja'd!!!

Absolutely 100% not surprised Dallas/Plano/Frisco have the spike in north Texas. F the drivers here. F them in their stupid A's

(I promised my wife I would try to stop swearing in anticipation of our baby. It's not going too well...)

SouthboundPachyderm > SamTheGeek
02/25/2014 at 16:59

Yep. People seem to think it's not illegal if you have your blinkers on.

BigAsn > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:00

You forgot the random streets in DC that look like allies, and then it takes 15 minutes just to circle back around to the missed turn.

505Turbeaux > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:00

I read a story about it once.

http://ferrarichat.com/forum/mid-atla…

boom, arrested too. I knew it wasnt just me

elifitch > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:00

Kinja'd!!!

Was the nicest weather in ages last weekend and, instead of going for a rather brisk drive, two assholes from maryland boxed me in b/c they had to come to the city to go to a nice park. Apparently parks don't exist in the beige hellscape of the DC suburbs.

I honestly don't know who are worse, DC transients who have driven twice in the last five years in either a zipcar or shitty hand-me-down civic, aggressive MD/VA drivers in 1998 camrys with mismatched panels, or the lawyer too busy fiddling with their GL450's touchscreen and changing lanes without signaling to notice that their death toll has reached 73. Taxi drivers are somehow even less competent here than they are in other places. Here, they actively *try* to kill you.

Fun fact: I joined kinja to moan about this. Congratulate me.

chrisbattle > Patrick George
02/25/2014 at 17:00

Just like Houston. I put my blinker on once coming into town on 45 and had people consciously accelerate to close the gap.

RaymondStantz > BigAsn
02/25/2014 at 17:01

Anywhere around the Capitol is like this these days with all the closed roads. Miss your turn on Independence? Tough luck.

philipilihp > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:01

GOD I hope not. That'll be another year probably. It's definitely getting crazy now. I'd be happy with a crappy fill job at this point.

RaymondStantz > elifitch
02/25/2014 at 17:02

The Zipcars. Oh the freakin' Zipcars. Highbeams on, no turn signals, sudden turns, and always 20 below the speed limit. Urgh.

elifitch > Jeremy H formerly Kalakaboooom
02/25/2014 at 17:04

My parking experience last weekend.

Kinja'd!!!

Slo-Z > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:07

I-66 may be bad - and it is - but I-95 from exit 160 going South, from Woodbridge to Fredericksburg, is the worst I've ever experienced, ever. Day, night, weekends, holidays - it doesn't matter; traffic is pretty much always stop-and-go.

There are so many accidents on that stretch they once put up a sign that said something to the effect of: 'Stay Alert, Accident-prone Area.'

And the drivers. Oh. My. God. Was traveling from PA back to VA this past weekend on I-95 and everything was great, everyone courteous and all, till I hit the beltway, then the craziness began.

Jeremy H formerly Kalakaboooom > elifitch
02/25/2014 at 17:07

Holy hell that is horrible. Is that guy behind you touching your bumper?

RaymondStantz > 505Turbeaux
02/25/2014 at 17:07

Three months is a bit much, but enough to be arrested? Eh. I donno. Discretion is a dirty word in the "zero tolerance policy" world we live in.

RaymondStantz > Slo-Z
02/25/2014 at 17:08

I completely agree. I conveniently forgot about it because I avoid it like the plague. Holy hell is it terrible down there.

willkinton247 > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:09

Exactly. I'll take a DCT

emanresu > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:10

LA is heaven for drivers. Yeah, the daily commute might suck (mine didn't), but you can absolutely make up for it every weekend with a quick trip over to the PCH and any of it's associated canyon roads.

hethoughtofcars > RaymondStantz
02/25/2014 at 17:10

That being said, DC and the surrounding suburbs have generally excellent public transport options. Yes, Metro is pretty much consistently broken under maintenance to bring the customer better service, but it's clean, usually free of crime, and goes to most places you'd ever need to go.

Yep, I lived in Fairfax, VA (hey, this is the second time I got to mention that today!) and it's just drive to the park and ride and jump on the Metro.

BigAsn > Duck996s
02/25/2014 at 17:11

So true. That or live next to work. Just 5 miles can be 30 minutes during rush hour.

Viperfan1 > philipilihp
02/25/2014 at 17:12

I loathe 95S. I take it every Friday to go down to Hampton Roads from Baltimore. 3pm? Traffic. 5pm? Nightmare. 7pm? Might as well just pull in the rest area cuz there's still traffic. Any time of day really..

Slo-Z > Jeremy H formerly Kalakaboooom
02/25/2014 at 17:12

Damn straight. My car is scratched to hell and back too, to the point that I consciously have to park away from everyone else. A co-worker just got a new Lexus IS 250 a little while ago, went to Giant for some groceries, only to come back and find a big 'ol scratch on his rear quarter panel. People suck.